Binging is Ruining My Life

Netflix is destroying my life. The problem is that I am kind of cheap. Actually,  I’m REALLY cheap. So while I do pay for Direct TV and the sports channels (it’s the only way to get TVG, the horse racing network and that’s non-negotiable), I don’t subscribe to any pay stations such as Showtime, HBO or STARZ.

This has consequences when I get together with friends.  They are all babbling on about “Game of Thrones,”  “The Leftovers” and “Ray Donovan,” and  I’m stuck looking at my feet or downing a drink. If I turn into an alcoholic this will be the reason.

But recently I did decide to fork over the fee for Netflix streaming. I figured it would be worth it if I watched a few movies a month to catch up with things I missed in the theater. I did not realize I was going to become obsessed with “House of Cards,” “Orange is the New Black” and “Arrested Development.” 

Now normally when I like a show I either catch it when it airs (if I remember), or throw it on my Tivo list and watch it whenever. That system works for me. I don’t usually spend a lot of time watching television anyway.  

I’m pretty busy working or taking care of the herd of animals that call my place home.  But I usually have an hour or so a day that I can waste on the couch watching a screen.

“Orange is the New Black” changed that for me. Because I just recently became a member of the Netflix generation, I had not one, but two seasons to catch up on. 26 episodes.  That’s a lot of time parked in front of the TV.  The thing is once I started, I couldn’t help myself.

At first I watched one episode every other day.  But then I realized at that rate I’d never get to “House of Cards.” So I stopped reading the “New Yorker” for a couple of weeks and instead dedicated that time to “Orange.”  It was still taking too long. I realized I was in big trouble when I started eating dinner on the couch and upped my viewing to three episodes a day. 

I don’t have the most active social life in the world, but occasionally even I meet friends for dinner.  But I confess I almost told a friend I couldn’t see her in a play because I had to find out what happened to Piper on furlough. I didn’t do it, but I considered  it. I need help.

I know that there are people who are in worse shape than I am; folks who regularly binge watch an entire series in a weekend. That makes me think. Don’t they have lives? Don’t they ever go outside the house?  Or sleep?

This doesn’t happen with network television. For one thing, it generally stinks. I can’t really remember the last time I watched network programming other than the news. Even the occasional show I Tivo usually just sits there until I delete it.

But there’s something about Netflix that haunts me. It’s not only the new shows. They have “Freaks and Geeks” a series I loved that died too soon.  I watched that too. But only after I finished with “House of Cards” and “Arrested Development.”

I also have to admit I never watched “Breaking Bad” when it first aired. I just couldn’t commit to watching anything every week.  But now that it’s on Netflix, Walter White and I have spent more time together than I did with my last boyfriend.

That probably says a little too much about my relationships. But it also states a lot about my penchant for addiction – at least as it relates to television.

I honestly can’t help myself.  Even though I know how “Breaking Bad” ends, I have this compulsion to see the next episode. I’ve had to force myself to cut back on my viewing. It’s not that I’m not dying to see the next episode in the queue, it’s just that I have other actual real-life responsibilities.

This whole television dependence does make me feel a little dirty and manipulated. Which of course is the whole point of television.  To make you keep watching. And while I’d like to think I’m above that, apparently that isn’t the case.

The real problem is that there is simply too much to watch.  Seriously. When and if I ever make it through all of the series I want to see, there are about a million films that I missed. And that’s just on Netflix. If you factor in Hulu Plus and Amazon Prime, I could easily remain in the house forever, my butt digging a bigger and bigger space on the couch.

Since I am a mostly responsible adult, I know this is wrong. So I go about my daily life. But as I clean the barn, or do actual work for clients, there is a part of me that can’t wait to get back to Walter. Or Piper. And even Michael Bluth. Yo.